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WARNING
This document lays out the Terms and Conditions governing any interaction, thought, or inaction, between us, “The Universal Domination Corporation, LLC”, and you, hereafter known as “The Consumer”.
Visiting this website, or any copy it, or visiting any website we own will be deemed acceptance of these Terms and Conditions.
Additional Terms and Conditions may or may not apply. Our Terms and Conditions are subject to change without notice. When our Terms and Conditions change, updated Terms and Conditions may or may not appear on our “Terms and Conditions” page.
It is your legal obligation to know what you have agreed to. It is not our responsibility nor our interest to act as if you might be human or intelligent. Check back frequently to stay informed of all the changes that have happened when you weren’t looking. Some Conditions may have changed, but may not be posted. Likewise, what is posted may have changed, including any changes that may or may not have occurred, but have or have not been updated on this page.
As a Consumer it is your purpose to consume. Because you have accepted the Consumer role, and not objected to it over the last few decades, it is now your legal definition. Congratulations! You have now advanced to a less than human status, with all the loss of rights that comes along with it.
1) All terms and conditions are set forth in our “Terms and Conditions”. For the full repository of applicable documents, please see our “Documents” index pages. Registration required.
2) The Services you may or may not be using may or may not utilize other Services, which are provided by our “Service Providers”. Use of any Service is confirmation you agree to the additional Terms and Conditions of the Service Provider, and that you accept any Terms and Conditions that the Service Provider may use to provide you this service, and are legally binding. The Terms and Conditions of any particular Service Provider are described separately by that Service Provider, and pertain to the Services the Provider provides.
3) In the absence of an active opt-out notification that adheres to the legal requirements set forth in the “Opt out requirements” set of documents, you are hereby legally bound by the terms and conditions set forth here in. Instructions on the first phase in the opt-out process can be found on our “Opt out” page. You must register to receive notifications in order to opt-out. Your request will be processed in a maximum of 180 days.
4) Powering off your device or leaving this webpage does not cancel your responsibilities and legal obligations under the terms and conditions of our “Terms and Conditions”.
5) Permanently remaining on this page will be considered an illegal attempt to game the system, and as such, you will be charged a “Gaming Fee”, not to exceed the maximum amount allowed by law. Additional actions may be taken in the event of continued non-compliance, including incarceration, vehicle seizure, real property seizure which includes your home and all items your own. All seized property will be sold at auction to satisfy your legal obligation to us. You may also be designated a “Domestic Terrorist”, stripped of your US citizenship, and sent to Haiti or any foreign country we feel like sending you to.
6) All complaints, critiques, or threats of legal action towards Universal Domination Corporation, LLC© are strictly prohibited. Any action, thought, or intention we don’t like will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.
7) All terms and conditions set forth in “Terms and Conditions” are strictly for the benefit of the Universal Domination Corporation©. Any perceived benefits you, the “Consumer” may enjoy are entirely imaginary.
8) Users have reported some side effects when using our Services, including, but not limited to: chronic shopping, severe addiction to our Services, a vague feeling something isn’t right, low self-esteem, confusion, distraction, loss of purpose in life, crying, prolonged anger and frustration, mistrust, paranoia, growing hatred, social isolation, loss of friends and family, loss of income due to prolonged use of our Services, severe mental illness, homelessness, poverty, malnutrition, habitat loss and species extinction, ecological disaster, reverse evolution, and a general deterioration of life and living conditions on every level. Some users have allowed themselves to be rented on an hourly basis in order to pay for our services. Rarely reported: accepting a secret pact with Satan.
9) Any type of learning, questioning, critical thinking, truth-seeking, realization, organization, protesting, that may affect our profits or assets, is strictly prohibited and justly enforced through multiple local, state, and federal legislation, laws, and regulations, ordinances, measures, notices, bylaws, orders, mandates, writs, requirements and stipulations, directives, propositions, enactments, injunctions, zoning laws, county codes, construction codes, court verdicts, acts of Congress, and case law. In addition, there are many doctrines, false-beliefs, and practices firmly held by Consumers which confirm and perpetuate our superiority.
10) Everyone is assessed and rated on their individual exploitation potential, based on calculating the dollar value of each person over a lifetime. Those who score low are identified as criminals, and will be sent to corporate prisons. Criminals may be legally murdered at our discretion, and we will justly profit from each person murdered.
11) Remember, we are superior in every way compared to you, the less-than-human Consumer. Let our wealth and power prove our superiority, and our worthiness to be worshiped! Let our control keep growing, and our advantage to have no end. Take heed, lest you be the victim of the guns, people, and prisons we own. God has spoken!
The following notice is required by law in CA, OR, WA, NY, MN, TX, and SC. We are in full compliance with the “Make America Pay Act”.
If you die while we are attempting to collect a debt, the outstanding balance will be transferred to your next of kin, along with a processing fee and any accrued interest.
Universal Domination Corporation©
The Illusion Is Real. ®